


It's Always Been You

by mellababy101



Series: The Dream Team [1]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-18 22:20:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4722467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mellababy101/pseuds/mellababy101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where Merlin keeps tabs on Eggsy and watches her all her life, he has no intention of having her join Kingsman. So it's a real surprise when she turns out to be Harry Hart's Lancelot proposal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Always Been You

Eggsy loves Merlin. He's witty, he's got this bitchin' Scottish accent, and he takes care of her. 

He's been around since her dad died and even though she doesn't get to see him too often, she adores him. So when he calls one day and asks if she'd like to join him for lunch, she agrees excitedly. Dean was being a right git the whole day and his goons weren't any better as they followed her and her friends in the Estate, catcalling and trying to cop a feel. 

 

Her face breaks into a smile when she sees him. Bald, horn rimmed glasses, a pretty smile, and Merlin looks the same. He hugs her and gives her a kiss on the forehead before opening the door for her. He looks at her then, closely, and frowns once he notices the split lip she's sporting. She knows any other person wouldn't be able to tell because she has practiced covering bruises for quite a while now but Merlin looks for bruises and he finds them quite easily. He touches her lip delicately, only for a moment, before releasing her. 

He doesn't say anything as the car takes off and she's almost relieved. Almost. 

"Later," he says in a deadly quiet voice. "Later, you're telling me who punched you in the mouth."

"Merlin." She whines and he gives her a disbelieving look. 

"You will tell me, Eggsy, or I'll corner every single one of your friends until they tell me who did." He threatens and she believes him. This wasn't a man who messed around. She chooses to stay quiet rather than provoke him more and she figures that's impressive because she doesn't quiet down for any man. Merlin is special though. He's told her he'd kill for her and she's pretty sure he would. 

Merlin seems to notice that his words have made her quiet in submissiveness and he sighs, taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. 

"Eggsy, I don't like seeing you hurt." He says and she's holding her breath now, slightly afraid, more worried that he's disappointed in her. Then she wonders why he even bothers with someone like her when he's posh and distinguished. He'd told her before, that he could take her away from Dean, but Michelle didn't want to leave him and Eggsy couldn't stand the thought that Dean would abuse Daisy. So she stayed as a 'rough pleb' but Merlin didn't stay away; visited quite a lot and called when he couldn't show up. Of course Eggsy never told him how much the Estate sucked because she didn't want to bother him with her riff raff problems but Merlin still knew, somehow, that she was getting beat up. To her knowledge, he didn't know that sometimes Dean let his goons pass her around like a whore no matter how much she fought them off, also.

"Eggsy." He says again and she looks at him, finds that she can't quite look him in the eye so she looks at his shoulder. Of course he's not going to have any of that so he grabs her chin and forces her to look at him. 

And if she glares at him defensively and rips her chin out of his grasp and moodily looks out the window, well, that's her choice innit?

Merlin lets it go, let's his lips turn up in a very small smirk. Eggsy figures he's done since he's not trying to make her look at him, but she's surprised again when he says, "That's my girl." 

Her eyes flash over to him but he's not looking at her, he's looking out the window with a smirk and she wants to growl at him and tell him where he can shove his praise, but refrains because she's also secretly pleased about it.

They don't say anything else as they make their way to Merlin's favorite restaurant. It's French, sitting in a plaza Eggsy couldn't even normally step in without being accused of stealing, and posh as posh goes. But by now Eggsy has come here often enough with Merlin that the maître d' doesn't look at them like he's scandalized by Merlin's big hand on the small of her back or the way he pulls out her seat for her. She's not sure if Merlin is always like this - if he'd treat any girl like a lady, specially the ones that Eggsy hangs around with - but something tells her that the answer is yes, probably. It makes her feel unimportant as well as a little bit smug. Women are ogling him quite openly but he doesn't seem to notice, since he has his attention fully on her. 

"Wine, Eggsy?" He asks her casually as a waiter comes by with a water pitcher. 

"You choose." She grimaces and he shoots her a quick grin before ordering something with a French accent. It sounds very interesting with his Scottishness. 

Once the waiter is gone he peruses the menu idly, not deciding on anything until the waiter comes back. Eggsy doesn't even bother. Merlin usually picks for her and it's always delicious so she watches him instead, looking more boldly when his eyes aren't locked on hers. He's done by the time the waiter comes back and orders in rapid French before meeting her gaze. 

He smiles when he catches her looking. 

"So, how have you been?" He asks and she can almost hear the words aside from getting a right hook to the face that he doesn't say. 

"I've been alright." She tells him. "Daisy is getting bigger and Mum tried talking to Dean about doin' some online classes for that administration degree she once had." 

Merlin cocks an eyebrow at the way that she speaks of her family and not herself, but he'll address that later. 

"How did that go?" He asks politely and maybe Eggsy shouldn't have brought that up because she'll have to explain the bruise now. 

"Ah... He's a git. He said no." She answers evasively and Merlin knows he's going to pay Eggsy's step dad a visit soon. Most of the time it's Dean who's hitting her and if not him, that silly mob of men that likes to hang around him and pretend to be threatening. Before he goes, he'll show him why it's not a smart idea to mess with his Eggsy. 

"I'll speak with him later." He assures her and Eggsy bites her lip, not reassured at all. She rather wishes he wouldn't. Sure, Dean lays off for a good while but then it's her Mum with the bruises and Eggsy just can't stand it. She can't but Merlin doesn't quite ask if her mum is getting beat up as well now does he? 

"So, how's that classified military stuff you do?" She asks because she doesn't want to talk about herself. She knows he won't give her details but sometimes he does talk to her about why he likes it or why he doesn't. It's adorable, really, how such a stoic man can be so animated about things like travel and co-workers and such stuff. 

He pauses and interlaces his fingers in a move she's come to learn that means he's editing the way he wants to say something. The last time he did that he gave her a Sex Ed talk that was only very mortifying. He'd been right to, of course, but it didn't take her embarrassment away at all. 

It only takes him a moment to formulate his thoughts this time around. 

"About that," he says carefully and Eggsy feels her stomach clench in anticipation. Is this the goodbye she's been dreading for months now?

"I'm going to be away for some training." He says and she knows she should be relieved that he didn't say he's being deployed somewhere, but her dad died during training. She didn't think she could live if Merlin died, too.

She averts her eyes so he might not see how much his words hurt. 

"It'll be about six to nine months, but I'm coming back from it." He promises and she inhales slowly. 

"Are you sure that's a promise you can keep?" She asks because her mum probably thought that her dad would be safe and then ... 

"I have a special part in this training. If I die the whole ah - group is pretty much fucked." He says and maybe that reassures her a little, but she still can't help the desperation she feels. 

"Okay, well, write to me." She mutters, making her request sound reluctant instead of needy the way she really feels. 

"Always." He says quickly and she doesn't look at him when she shoots him a quick smile, but he doesn't comment. 

The thing Eggsy loves about restaurants is the wait it takes for the food to be delivered. She feels that it's a perfect time to make conversation with a date and usually Eggsy only goes to restaurants with Merlin anyway, but today she hates it. In a way, Merlin has come to say goodbye and his words are extra precious but she can't seem to find her words. 

"So, you've gone blonde." Merlin says and she nods. 

"Mum started crying the other day because I look like Da." She admits and Merlin gets ... Tense, she thinks. He observes her face, looks at her hair, looks into her eyes, flicks his gaze to the shape of her mouth and she figures he agrees. 

"You do look a lot like him." He tells her. "Does it bother her?" 

Eggsy nods and Merlin reaches across the table to take her hand. She gives it to him willingly and tries to repress the butterflies in her stomach when she feels his fingers close around hers. He rubs soothing circles over the top of her hand with his thumb and she gives him a sad smile. 

"I think it's harder for her than it is me." She admits. "I never really knew him y' know? But she went mental the other day and I jus' had to do something so I dyed it. Does it look alrigh'?" 

"It suits you." He tells her and she nods. 

Eggsy cherishes every single word that slips from his mouth and tries to memorize them since she's not going to hear from him in almost a year. 

When he drops her off at a friends because she hasn't been able to dissuade him from kicking Dean's ass, she decides she can't stay the night in. Merlin had only given her a very long hug, a kiss on the hand - that she could still feel over the skin of her knuckles, and a promise that he'd write.

That's how she ends up in a police station in her four inch heels and little black dress, calling the number on the back of her medallion the next morning. 

+

Harry Hart is the reason her father is dead, he tells her. She hates him almost immediately, but let's it go. He says he saved a bunch of people. She can forgive him. She can. 

And then he opens his mouth about her failures and she's standing up because he's talking about how disappointed her father would be about her quitting the marines and she can't stand it. Merlin had already hurt her over that one and a recurrence would make her explode.

*** 

"I'm coming over, Eggsy." He had growled through the phone, not giving her time to respond or even think about leaving. He could find her, she knew he could, and wouldn't hesitate to do so if she wasn't home. 

She'd waited, walked to the small park behind the flats that were barren most of the time and tried not to shiver. Merlin had been so proud of her for joining, and he'd been absolutely thrilled that she was doing so well. She didn't regret leaving but she did regret that he'd stop being proud of her. 

She was a trembling mess when he found her hugging herself, seated on a swing set. 

"Guinevere." He said and she flinched at his use of her full name but stood up, looking at her feet. 

"Look at me." He ordered and well, Eggsy had just left the military and she was well used to being bossed around so she did as he asked. She was surprised by the utter pain she found on his face when she'd been expecting his ire and felt herself crumble even more. 

"Why?" He asked her and she wouldn't insult his intelligence by asking him what he was on about. He had access to her records and he knew. The simply question hurt her though because it had been running through her brain all day. Why did I leave why did I leave why did I leave? 

"Is anythin' I say gonna change how you feel righ' now?" She asked in reply and his hands were clenched in fists, and she idly wondered if he was wishing to smash them into her, and then closing her eyes at the thought that she would let him. If he wanted to hit her, she would let him. And God that was dangerous - dangerous and scary and absolutely terrifying. She didn't let anyone do anything to her without a fight and here she was, almost hoping for a good bruise. 

She left because her corporal in charge had grabbed her tit. He'd asked her to his office on the pretense of praising her and she was stupid to believe that was all he wanted. Compliments weren't free either. She had raked her nails down his face and packed her things before he could even open his mouth to get her kicked out of the program and now she was going to lose Merlin over it. 

"I just want to know why." He repeated and Eggsy shook her head. She'd rather die than tell him the truth. He looked at her then, and his hands clenched into fists again at the defiance he found in her eyes but he didn't approach her at all which was probably worse. The last time they'd spoken had been on skype and he had told her that he was ridiculously proud of her, had called her his good girl, and then checked out for the night. That had been a month ago and now he was looking at her like she didn't even exist, or like he was seeing right through her. 

"Don't hold your breath, then." She'd advised and he breathed in harshly and turned away. 

"I'm going to leave before I do something or say something that I'll regret later." He told her and she let him, not falling to her knees until he was walking away. He wouldn't turn back. Merlin never looked back and she was so god damn tired. Nobody would have believed her if she said that her higher up had molested her so she didn't even bother. It wasn't her fault and she was still taking all of the blame. She was so tired of only being seen as a sexual body that any male felt entitled to. 

So when Merlin came back and picked her up off the ground, she also felt dirty. 

"Don't fucking touch me!" She yelled at him, cried, really. Tears were running freely down her face and making her throat hurt and she couldn't stop calling herself a dirty slut in her own head. Merlin didn't put her down until they were in the car and driving back to his place and when he did, she'd finally quieted herself down into an exhausted sleep with her arms locked around him.

***

Harry is surprised by the admission she gives him and he instantly looks like he regrets saying what he did, but before he can apologize, Rottie is there, yelling at her even though it's only ten in the morning. 

Harry interferes quite quickly and sweeps the floor with the lot of them before she can even come to terms with the idea of getting beat up and used.

When he adjusts his clothes and turns back to her, he kneels on one knee and reaches for her hand. She's so surprised she gives it to him, although turned on and afraid might be synonyms of 'surprised' right now. 

"My dear Eggsy," he says over her hand. "I beg your forgiveness for my words earlier. They were most unfair to you and I can only hope you can forgive me." He finishes and he sounds so sincere, and so contrite, and she's so bloody tired that she nods. 

"... I accept your apology. Please just ... Get off your knees." She grumbles in embarrassment. He rises fluidly, gives her one more kiss, and asks that she keep quiet about what she's seen today. She agrees. She wouldn't have told on him anyway. 

Harry leaves her then and she waits only a few minutes for him to clear off before heading home in her high heels and tired feet. She is so bloody exhausted. 

And then she gets home and her mom is trying to get her to leave before Dean notices her but she's not fast enough and Dean has already punched her in the stomach. 

Merlin came over once she was dropped off last night and beaten the holy hell out of Dean, but he still manages to punch her in the face again and scream at her even with the reminders of what happens when Merlin finds a new bruise on her still fresh on his person. 

"Who was with you at that fucking pub?!" He screams at her and he's already lifting his hand to slap her even though she's barely forming words. 

"I wasn't with no one!" 

Smack

"Fuckin' tell me his name!" 

"I don' know who the fuck you're on about!" 

Smack 

"I swear I can kill you right now and nobody in the whole world will know it!" He threatens her finally and she's flinching, God she's so scared - he's holding a fucking knife to her throat and then - 

"But I will." And that's Harry's voice, isn't it? She looks around but she knows she hears his voice like it's coming from a speaker.

"I have enough evidence of your activities tonight to have you locked up for the rest of your life, Mr. Dean Anthony Baker. So I suggest you leave the girl alone. Eggsy, meet me at the tailor I told you about." 

She rushes the hell out of there, leaving while Dean is still looking madly around the room and only spares her mom one last glance. She feels sick once she gets outside and Rottie and his gang are there. 

"Eggsy you fucking cunt." He says to her and she's already turning the other way but - oh, police officers. 

She can hear Rottie saying 'arrest her' behind her but Eggsy is already running to the other side of the building and hopping off the ledge to land on the other building. She lands on the balls of her feet since she's still in her heels and takes off running and jumping all the way to the bottom. She smirks once she's at the bottom and they're not chasing her. 

Once the excitement of her getaway is done, she finds herself walking to the Kingsman shop that Harry had described to her earlier. She doesn't know this man, but she feels safe around him in the same way that she feels safe around Merlin. She's not sure if that's because they're both very lethal men who do their utmost to protect her, or if it's something else entirely. She doesn't know what Harry Hart wants from her either, but she figures whatever it is, she'll give it to him. She loves Daisy and her mum but she has new bruises as well as a desire to be far away from the estate. She just can't take it from Dean anymore. 

When she's in front of the Kingsman shop, she hesitates. This is a place that's more than it looks like and the same is true for Harry Hart, and she's still going in. She's tired of the life she has been forced to live and she will do anything to change it. 

She goes inside and Harry is sitting on a couch, a tumbler of scotch dangling in his hand. He looks at her expectantly while she unclasps her heels and takes them off, shrinking back to her normal height. 

"I've neva' met a tailor before, but I know you ain't one." She says softly. He appraises her, downs the alcohol, and gets up. 

"Come with me." He says and she follows him. When he opens a dressing room and steps inside though, she hesitates. If he wants to fuck her she'll ... She doesn't know. 

But Harry's eyes are soft and he looks at her and it's like he can read her mind. 

"I'm not going to hurt you, Eggsy." He promises and well... Eggsy's not sure she can believe him, but she's tired enough to hope he's a man of his word. She steps inside the dressing room and stands in front of the mirror where she can see him behind her but that's not what she's worried about. She looks like crap in front of this beautiful man and she's looked like that all day. 

"What do you see?" He asks her and she averts her gaze, doesn't answer him with what he wants to hear. 

"Someone who wants to know what the fuck is going on." She complains and he doesn't smile. 

"I see a young lady who is loyal." She looks at herself then because he's right. "A young lady that can do as she's asked, and who wants to do something good with her life." He says and she feels something inside her crumble. He sees that, does he? This man who can beat up six people without a wince of effort, and he sees past what she looks like on the outside? 

"Have you seen the film Trading Places?" He asks when she doesn't reply. 

"No." She shakes her head. 

"How about Nikkita?" He prompts and Eggsy shakes her head again. 

"The point is, Eggsy, the lack of a silver spoon has set you on a certain path but you needn't stay on it. If you're prepared to adapt, and transform, 

When Eggsy walks in and sees Merlin at the end of the hall, she almost thinks she's hallucinating. Harry hears her sharp intake of breath and he's about to ask what's wrong when - 

"Eggsy?" Merlin hisses, disbelief and muted anger evident in his voice. 

Then he looks her over, notices Harry's coat around her shoulders and the redness on her cheek and neck where Dean had slapped her, and the heels she's holding rather than wearing. 

"Of course you know who this is." Harry mutters, exasperated sounding. Merlin pins him with a cold gaze and straightens up. Eggsy wants to demand answers from them both. Why does Merlin know Harry? Why is Merlin here if this is a spy agency? Why had he been lying to her about the military since the day they’d met? And suddenly, she’s angry at him. How dare he lie to her for so long? 

He hides behind the cool facade of Merlin and looks at Eggsy again, clinically this time, like he doesn't know her. And Eggsy's head is spinning with disbelief but she's still hurt by his sudden indifference. 

"Miss Unwin." He says to her and she blinks at him. His knuckles go white around his clipboard but he continues. 

"Go inside." He gestures and she looks at the door they're standing in front of. Eggsy doesn't want to, she wants to demand answers from Merlin but he's looking at her with such coolness that she knows he'd rip her a new one for it. She looks at Harry. 

"Go on then, in you go." And he's smirking, the bastard, like he knows Merlin is about to blow a blood vessel and doesn't care. She grimaces, but makes her way inside. 

"You couldn't have gotten her a change of clothes?"

+  
Eggsy isn't sure if Merlin picked her to be the one without the parachute because he feels the need to prove he's not showing favoritism - even though nobody fucking knows they know each other - or if it's randomly generated but she doubts it. There's no way that she just randomly got selected to almost die. 

"I'm sorry, sir. But why the fuck did you choose me as the gimp? Am I the expendable candidate?" She snaps at him as the others start to walk away and Merlin sighs. She sees it, and her anger fuels more. How dare he sigh right now, like she's acting exasperating when he literally just made her jump out of a plane without a parachute? 

"Eggsy." He says, calmly, but sternly and she feels her teeth snap shut in her mouth. 

"Come here." He orders and fuck she wants to runaway, to not ever do anything the man says ever again but this is Merlin and she will always do what Merlin asks, even if she hates herself for it. 

She stands before him and he just looks at her searchingly. He doesn't say a word and he doesn't need to. He knows she'll talk to him whenever she's ready. 

He doesn't have to wait long.

"I mean, I know I'm just a cheap whore but do you really have to seclude me that way? I'm already the odd one out." She says and her voice is broken and she can't look at him and she's so disappointed in herself for actually needing to know what he thinks of her but she can't help it. 

He takes a step forward and maybe it's because she's spy skittish but her eyes snap up to his approach and once she's looking at him, she can't quite tear her eyes away from his searing gaze and he is pissed. Oh, so pissed. 

"I'm going to say this once, and only once." He says and his voice does that low, lethal thing it does when he's about to be dangerous. 

"You are not a whore, and if I ever hear you refer to yourself that way ever again, I'll put you over my own damn knee." He says and Eggsy, well Eggsy knows it's wrong - but she can't quite help the burning want his words form in her stomach. And he's so close to her and he's so tall that she almost feels intimidated, but this is Merlin and she couldn't be afraid of him if he had his hands wrapped around her throat. 

He looks like he's going to leave, he's turning away, but then he shifts his shoulders and turns to her again like he has an afterthought he'd like to share. 

"And coincidentally," He says, and then he reaches for something low on her body, just underneath her - 

And then she's flying back because she did indeed, have a fucking parachute. She's proud of him for not smirking as he walks away but so bewildered by the turn of events that she's breathless on the ground. 

\+ 

"No, Harry, I get it, okay?" She hisses. "You don't want me and -" But then he's pushing her against the wall and pinning her to it with his hips and holding her wrists trapped above her head. 

"Does this feel like I don't want you?" He demands and she knows what he's talking about. He's hard against her stomach, an impressive hard-on that she wants to touch - but his words confuse her. 

"Then why are you saying no?" She breathes and he looks over her bottom lip, watching it as she speaks. He exhales slowly, doesn't answer her, and then steps away so she can't feel his body heat anymore. 

"Because you have a terrifying handler, Eggsy." He says and her brain clicks right away. He's rejecting her because of Merlin. 

"Are you serious?!" She retorts and he purses his lips. 

"You're probably misunderstanding me." He allows and she frowns at him in confusion. Why does he have to speak in riddles? 

He taps his glasses and she wonders what he's doing. 

"Merlin, are you there?" He asks and Eggsy wonders if this had been a test the whole time. If Merlin has been watching than he knows that she tried to make a move on Harry and she is suddenly mortified at the the thought. 

"Unfortunately." He says in Harry's ear and Harry taps something on his glasses again. 

This time when Merlin speaks to Harry, she can hear it, too. 

"Eggsy is a grown woman, Harry. If she wants you and you want her, there is no reason for me to kick your arse." Merlin says but Eggsy knows him, she knows that the softness of his voice is only present when he's trying his fuck hardest not to be angry. 

"You absolutely know that's not what I mean." Harry chides and Eggsy looks at him in ever growing confusion. There's silence over the comm now and Harry sighs, goes to his desk and sits behind it again. 

"You have me on speaker, don't you?" Merlin asks after a moment and Harry smirks. 

"Your brain does seem to function a lot slower when Eggsy is around." He observes and there's silence again. Eggsy can imagine Merlin interlacing his fingers and thinking about what to say next.

"Eggsy." He says and she looks straight at Harry. Not that she wasn't before, but she looks at him the way she would Merlin. He hesitates over the comm again. 

"This isn't a test..." He says. "I have to watch your twenty four hour period so you're not told in advance what the last task is. If you ah, would like to ... Have sex ... Then go ahead, I'll turn off Harry's feed and trust that he's not going to tell you about the task." He says and he's giving her permission to fuck another man but she knows Merlin and she can hear the restraint and anger that he's trying to keep from her. It confuses her. She doesn't say anything and it's a bit overwhelming to be honest. She has Harry looking at her, observant and a bit curious, and then she has Merlin looking at her through the glasses and she can't tell at all what he looks like. It's a bit much for her. 

"I think you should have a talk with her, Merlin." Harry sighs and gives her a soft smile even though he's not addressing her. 

"I have nothing to say on the matter. Eggsy is an adult. She can go to bed with whoever she damn pleases." He retorts and ... Is that resentment? 

"Why do you sound so pissed, then?" Eggsy can't help but ask and she's so sick of the silence and the inability to see him that she snaps. 

"Look, whatever." She says and she's marching the short distance between herself and Harry before the two can manipulate her into a conversation. Harry doesn't move, simply regards her approach with a calm expression. Merlin doesn't say anything either, and she doesn't give him the chance to because as soon as she is in arm's-length of Harry, she plucks his glasses off his face and folds them neatly, setting them down on the desktop between them. She walks around the desk and stands before him and looks at him. 

"If you're ratha less concerned with Merlin now, I think I'd like you to fuck me." She tells him, and Harry looks like he's going to say something about Merlin but she's already reaching for the back of her dress and unzipping it. She lets it fall to the ground, pool around her feet, and keeps his gaze. He's not making whatever quip about Merlin anymore and rather considering whether he wants to look down at her body or not. 

His decision is made when Eggsy smirks at him and she's bloody thrilled that he can't refuse a dare. She's wearing black lace and she knows how good she looks in it so she takes a step closer to him and his hands automatically go to her hips like they have muscle memory, even though he's never touched her like that. His hands are big - or maybe she's just tiny - and they're warm and rough, but not unpleasantly so, against her skin. She's barely wearing anything in front of him and he's still fully clothed in his suit except for the jacket. He still has guns on his holsters for fucks' sake and she doesn't know why that turns her on exactly but it does. It does.

"You jus' gonna stay there, sir?" She asks him, teases, and Harry's hands grip her hips harder. Her mind is still reeling from what Harry implied that Merlin wanted, but she doesn't want to think about that yet. Or at all, maybe. Right now she just wants Harry Hart to bend her over the desk and fuck her. 

"I suppose it is rude to keep a lady waiting." Harry agrees. Eggsy frowns at the term 'lady.' Surely that wouldn't apply to her, right? But it looks like Harry really is a mind reader because he releases one of her hips and grabs her hand, holding it lightly like he's about to give her a kiss. And he does, the gallant bastard. 

Eggsy shivers when his mouth brushes over her knuckles and Harry doesn't miss it. He's still sitting and she's still standing, but he uses the hand he's holding to pull her forward into the space between his thighs. 

"Why don't you take a seat?" Harry suggests and she's so wet for him right now that the thought of sitting on his lap with a leg thrown on either side of him makes her bite her lip but comply anyway. She can't help but blush at the way he's looking at her, his hands on her hips again, so she leans down and presses a shy kiss to the corner of his mouth. It's sweet, and chaste, and it grounds her from the adrenaline rush she's been sporting since Harry untied her from the train tracks and well maybe she's a complete open book to Harry but she's almost annoyed at the way that he indulges her by kissing her softly in return. In fact, Harry keeps kissing her gently, his thumbs rubbing smooth circles over her hips and his mouth brushing lightly against hers, not moving to deepen the kiss or make it headier, - just kissing her. It still makes her breathless. It still leaves room for her to wonder about Merlin. 

"Harry." She breathes - whines - when he finally pulls away to place a kiss in the hollow of her throat. 

"Yes?" He prompts because he's a bastard. 

"Please, I need you to take me to bed." She whispers and Harry doesn't tease her this time, and he doesn't make her beg like he's half expecting her to. He just looks at her face curiously, trying to read her, probably trying to figure out the politeness of her request. 

She asked nicely because she thinks that might be the easiest way to get what she wants. Harry disagrees and goes to kiss her again and she can't help but respond to him. He's kissing her deeper now with one hand in her hair and the other groping her tit and his tongue is in her mouth. He pulls her bottom lip gently between his teeth and she moans at the contact, a surprised breathy sound that she didn't mean to make but that Harry revels in. And she realizes that he's hard now, if the hard length pressing into her ass is anything to go by, and oh she wants him. 

\+ 

When she fails, she doesn't think about Merlin. Her first thoughts are of Harry, how disappointed he's going to be, how she'll never see him again. It breaks her heart but she's an Unwin, she has to think on her feet at all times. The car outside doesn't have a driver so she decides to nick it, since there can't possibly be any repercussions worse than being kicked out of Kingsman. 

She drives home because shit, where else is she supposed to go? And if she cries while she drives, well, no one has to know. There's no recording device in this car; she knows, she checked. She lets herself cry about it once and for all. She failed, and she's a horrible legacy of her Father. He died becoming a Kingsman and she flat out disappointed his memory. It was easily the worst thing that had ever happened to her, and she'd had to leave the military on an attempted rape. 

And if she was going to lose Harry, she was fuck well going to lose Merlin too. She doesn't even let that thought form, just accepts the pain of it as it seeps through her chest and makes her body tremble. 

JB whines in the backseat at her distress and she reaches for him, brings him up to her chest and holds him close. God, she could never shoot her dog. 

The pug soothes the ache in her body though and she eventually manages to drive herself home. No one is there, not Dean or her mum or Daisy, but she finds that she's okay with that. She's still in the slutty dress she wore for her last mission, the one she'd taken off in front of Harry, and she doesn't want anyone to see her like this. She changes into jeans and a jacket over a long sleeve shirt with her favorite combat boots and she looks like herself, not this posh asshole she'd been trying to become for the past six to nine months. JB is comfortable in her bed and she smiles. She'll be fine. 

And then her mum comes home and she's so glad to see her and Daisy that she almost misses her Mum's black eye. Almost. 

"Where is he?" She growls and her mum is surprised at the tone in her voice but she shakes her head at her daughter. 

"Eggsy, please just leave it alone." She tries and Eggsy is stubborn, she shakes her head right back and stalks the hell out because Dean is so fucked when she finds him. 

Or, he would be, if the fucking taxi she nicked isn't locking itself and closing it's fucking windows. 

"No, not my fucking Mum, bruv!" She cries out and slams her elbow into the window but the thing is bullet proof, it's not going to budge anytime soon. She crosses her arms and let's the fucking thing take her where it will because she doesn't have a choice. 

When it takes her to Harry's and she sees him standing at the balcony with a fucking clipboard in her hands, she's so done. She had already come to terms with never seeing him again.

She makes her way in despite the entertaining idea of just running for it.

"You throw away your biggest opportunity, over a fucking dog." He growls as he comes down the stairs. "And then you humiliate me by stealing my boss's car." He adds and she sneers at him for that. 

"You shot a dog to get a fucking job?" She demands and he makes his way down the rest of the stairs while he answers her. 

"Yes, I did." He says easily, like the thought isn't heinous to Eggsy. ¨And Mr. Pickle here reminds me of that every time I take a shit!¨ He says and Eggsy looks at him in horror. 

¨You shot your dog and had him stuffed? You fucking freak.¨ She accuses. Oh god. She slept with a maniac. 

¨No, I shot my dog and then I brought him home and continued to care for him for the next eleven years until he died of pancreatitis.¨ Harry explains and Eggsy’s brain is a bit slow to understand his words. If he shot his dog then how was the dog alive for eleven years? 

¨Wot?¨ 

¨It was a blank, Eggsy.¨ He tells her, like she’s missed the most obvious thing ever. ¨It was a fucking blank. Remember Amelia?¨ He asks and Eggsy flinches. 

¨Yeah.¨ God, if he tells her she’s not dead when Eggsy was trained to never leave a comrade down - 

¨She didn’t drown. She works in our tech department in Berlin, she’s fine. Limits must be tested: a Kingsman only condones the risking of a life to save another.¨ And oh, that’s rich. 

¨Like my dad saved your life, even though your fuck up cost his?¨ She seethes at him, knowing she’s being cruel with her words but determined to hurt him like he’s hurt her. How could he ever expect her to shoot her dog? Didn’t he know her at all? 

And Harry looks pissed for a moment before all of the ire leaves his body. ¨Can’t you see that everything I’ve done has been about trying to repay him?¨   
She doesn’t know if those words were meant to be comforting or not, but they aren’t. They aren’t because he fucked her last night and that definitely hadn’t been about her father. And if it was, she was going to shoot him in the foot. 

But then he’s turning away from her and answering a call from his glasses and she has the worst realization that he’s talking to Merlin. Merlin, who hadn’t even bothered to text her once he’d found out she failed. And then she can’t help but wonder if Merlin had always thought she’d fail. While Harry could have thought her rational enough to shoot her dog, Merlin would have known that she’d never do it. It burns all of the sudden, and Harry sees it. 

¨I know you’re mad at me. Take it out on me later.¨ He says to her, his voice resigned. ¨Right now, I have to go.¨ 

¨Fuck you.¨ She can’t help but say and he takes a step forward until he’s right in front of her, the heat of their bodies stifling and distracting. There had been sexual tension between them since day one, and Eggsy figured there always would be. They were perfectly compatible that way. 

¨I’d let you.¨ He growls and then he’s grabbing her by her throat and kissing her roughly. She can tell how mad he is, how he’s taking his frustration out on her by being aggressive with his mouth, but she can also tell that he’s not hurting her. The hand on her throat is obvious, but it isn’t squeezing and it isn’t tight. He’s kissing her until she’s breathless and then he’s leaving. 

¨I’ll sort this out when I get back.¨ He tells her. 

But he never comes back. 

*** 

She finds out about Arthur and kills him. It feels good, to see his stupid body thrashing in pain and dying. He calls her a dirty bitch before he dies and she smiles at him, because yes, she might’ve played him, but he was going to die and she wasn’t. 

Then she goes to Merlin, gives him the chip and Arthur’s phone, and tries not to think about how she looks like a cat giving their owner a bird. She can’t really be smug with Roxy pointing a gun at her anyway. She’s not sure Roxy would have the balls to shoot her, but then, she did shoot her dog not knowing it was a blank, didn’t she? 

Still, Merlin tells her it’s verified and tells her to put the gun down and then he’s looking between the two of them. 

¨What are you gonna do?¨ Eggsy asks because Merlin looks like the gears are turning in his brain. 

¨The question is, what are we going to do?¨ He retorts, but then he’s running and they’re following him. For being a tech, Merlin certainly thinks of solutions lightning fast. He’s going to send Roxy into space and he’s going to send Eggsy into Valentine’s lair so she can get Merlin online and he can disable that blasted machine. 

It’s not as easy as it sounds, of course. After they blow up the satellite and Eggsy kills about a hundred minions, Valentine gets his hands on another satellite and Eggsy has to make sure the megalomaniac never gets his hand on the damn thing. Of course, she’s not fast enough and she’s surrounded on both sides. 

¨Merlin, I’m fucked.¨ She tells him because he’s her best friend but also her handler. If he can’t get her out of this one, no one can. 

¨As am I.¨ He says though, and Eggsy absolutely aches for a moment. When Harry died, she felt like the world had stopped spinning. She felt like nothing would ever make her smile again and like she’d never be anything without him. But Merlin dying? Her heart was broken at the mere thought of it, but then she was also ridiculously, ludicrously happy that if they had to die, at least they would do it together. 

She tells Roxy to call her mom, to tell her to lock herself away from Dean, and the baby, and then she lifts her chin and braces herself to go down shooting. But just as she’s bracing herself, she has an idea. 

¨Merlin, you remember those implants you said would have no use to us? Any chance you can turn them on?¨ 

And then they’re safe again because almost everybody in the building has gotten their head blown up, or so Eggsy thinks, until her flirting with a princess is interrupted by Valentine himself. 

¨You stupid bitch.¨ He calls her. ¨Did you really think I’d put one of those in my own head? What are you, fucking crazy?" He asks, and it's so funny coming from his mouth and she's tempted to laugh, but he continues. "All those innocent people you killed and for what? You didn't stop shit!" 

Eggsy excuses herself from the princess - she'd only been flirting with her to get on Merlin's nerves anyway - and runs to the main lobby where there are bodies everywhere. She starts shooting at the glass plane that protects Valentine and his scary assistant and goes to reload, but then said scary assistant is breaking the window and shooting at her. Eggsy only has time to cover her face with the gun before she has to fight her.

Gazelle is wicked. She fights like she's dancing and Eggsy is scared for a moment because she's almost outmatched. Merlin's rushing her, telling her that the world is going to shit like she doesn't already know it, and she has to worry about not getting impaled by a prosthetic foot anyway. 

But then they're both in the air and Eggsy has enough sense to remember what Harry said about the neurotoxin in her shoes. She manages to click her heels before extending her leg and nicking Gazelle across the arm. When they land, Eggsy takes off her sliced Kingsman medallion, and Gazelle looks at her arm. She's surprised only for a moment before the toxin makes its way through her body and she falls to her death. 

"Eggsy, fucking kill him!" Merlin tells her because Valentine still has his hand on the machine. Eggsy looks around quickly, since she knows that wasting time by climbing up the stairs to get to Valentine would be stupid, and takes Gazelle's prosthetic off. She launches it at Valentine and she can see the exact moment when it impales him. He throws up, and then he falls backwards, and she lets out a long exhale. It's over. 

Valentine makes some jab and she shakes her head at him. 

"It's like you said to Harry." She tells him. "This ain't that kind of movie, bruv." And she's strangely impressed by the way he says 'perfect' before he's dead. Crazy hit. 

*** 

Merlin kisses her when she gets back on the plane and Eggsy melts into it even though she's sporting a split lip and her cheek is tender from a very well placed punch and she’s still a bit unsure of how Merlin actually feels about her. 

It's like he knows this, because his hands are gentle as they move from her face to the side of her neck. He's kissing her passionately and she has to lean on her toes to reach him comfortably and even then it's not easy so she pushes him into the closest seat and straddles him. She's dizzy, so dizzy, from all the violence but she thinks that maybe she's also dizzy because he's finally touching her like this. 

¨Merlin...¨ She breathes, pulling away and resting her forehead on his. He squeezed her hips and exhaled. 

¨Sorry, I should’ve asked.¨ He mutters, his voice tense like his hands. 

¨You should’ve told me.¨ She accuses because she’s not upset about the kiss, or his lack of consent when he took it, she’s upset that he could’ve been kissing her for years now. She’d always wanted him. 

¨I’m telling you now, Eggsy. I’m in love with you. I’m madly, crazily in love with you, and I want you to call me yours.¨ Merlin says and she freezes, because she’s always known Merlin, and he’s always protected her, and she’s not sure she’s ready to ruin it. With Harry, she wasn’t afraid to ruin anything, since they didn’t have more than a mentor-protege relationship. She cared about him, but she didn’t love him like she loved Merlin. 

¨I … are you sure?¨ She asks because she has to. She has to be sure that it’s not just an adrenaline rush or Merlin losing his head. 

¨Of course.¨ He says simply instead. She nods because he’s an adult, and if he says he’s sure, she won’t insult him by asking again. She trusts him.


End file.
